The marketplace offers women two men and nothing else.
Not two types. Two actual men. One controls you. One uses you. Every woman on earth encounters this binary and no woman escapes it.
We grow up hearing a specific promise. Find a man who matches you. Find your equal. Find someone who understands your vision and builds alongside it. This man exists somewhere. You just have to become worthy enough to attract him.
This promise is a lie. Because that man does not exist. The world does not produce him. The system does not allow him.
What exists instead is a marketplace with exactly two offerings, and women spend their lives trapped choosing between them.
What Happens When a Woman Has Nothing
A woman without money, without a job, without her own survival mechanism looks at the men available and sees one option: the man who will keep her alive and give her financial stability. The tyrant.
This man controls everything. The bank account. The decisions. Where she goes, what she wears, who she is friends with—all filtered through his approval. She does not see this as a cage because she is too busy not starving.
She calls him provider. She calls the hazardous relationship love.
But it is ownership. The worst type. He owns her like one owns an object. And because she has no resources to leave (he will make sure of that), she stays.
Most women never escape such a trap. They live their entire lives under a man’s total control and endure a lifetime of mistreatment and erasure of the self. They become a toy. A toy the tyrant will discard once she is no longer compliant or docile enough in his eyes.
What Happens When a Woman Builds Power
A successful woman owns her voice and choices.
The moment a man tries to control her, the friction will be inevitable and instantaneous.
Usually self-aware by experience, she will reject any form of control. She has autonomy. She has options. And most importantly, she has agency.
The clash between a sovereign woman and a tyrant is called a “power struggle.” As she realizes that, she leaves.
But she does not want to be single. She still wants a partner in her life. Maybe she even still believes in romance the way it was sold. She does not want to be the woman who “couldn’t keep” a relationship. So she searches for a unicorn. An equal. A successful man who will not try to control her. But as you know, the dating market does not have that option. So she settles eventually with the second type of man.
The Parasite.
This man either has nothing, or his success is nowhere near equal to hers. His money is usually short or nonexistent. His career is obsolete. He comes with baggage more often than not. But he is compliant (at first glance). He adapts to her world. He is grateful for her presence. He makes her feel needed and wanted. To the world, he treats her like a “queen.” And she believes the performance. Because she is starving for the fairytale she has been programmed for since childhood.
And for a while, this feels better than control.
But it is still extraction.
He uses her energy, connections, and money to build himself up. After all, that is why he entered the relationship in the first place. Men like him have plans. Plan A: extract until he succeeds, then leave. Plan B: stay if he cannot build his own power. Plan C: cheat but stay. Plan D: find a better host. And the list goes on.
When a successful woman gets with a parasite, she becomes the Tyrant in the relationship by default. She has all the power now. He has none. And he secretly resents her for it.
When he finally builds enough power to stand on his own, he finds a woman with less power—a woman he can finally control. A woman who will not threaten him with her success. Then he leaves. Yes, not the other way around. The man will not leave before he has secured a “replacement” because that is just not how parasites operate. They are opportunistic at their core.
What Happens When a Woman Was Groomed
Some women have power but still choose the Tyrant. These are women who were broken early. Programmed to accept patriarchy’s rules.
Beyoncé has money. She has success. She has fame that exceeds Jay-Z’s by every metric. But she is controlled anyway. This is not choice. This is coercive programming, and as one can suspect, manipulation only found in the dark triad—those with high levels of Machiavellian, psychopathic, and sociopathic traits. Not average levels. High. Extreme apathy for others, with cold, self-serving, calculated behaviors.
The Independent Woman’s Trap
Rihanna built her own empire. She has power.
She has had her fair share of relationships with tyrants, so eventually she fell into a trap most successful women fall for. Or maybe she chose her poison consciously. A$AP Rocky. His success is nothing compared to hers. He orbits her fame. He benefits from proximity to her money. He is accommodating because he has to be.
Most people think she has won.
What she actually did is become a super host for an ultra-calculated man. He secured the bag by making her pregnant as fast as he could. As many times as he could. But note: they are not married. You might think marriage is the end goal for a leech? Not always. As you have noted, parasites have multiple plans. So if marriage compromises his main plan, he will find a way to secure the bag permanently without commitment. Diabolical, isn’t it? Children become pawns, leverage, you name it.
The Parasite When He Gains Power
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. She built him from the ground up. No pun intended. As he gained power after using Kidman for more than a decade, he cheated and replaced her with a younger woman. Why young? Beyond aesthetic tastes, young women are more malleable. More impressionable. Inexperienced and easy to control.
The Powerful Woman Who Refuses Both Paths
More and more sovereign women choose the path of loneliness when it comes to “romance.” Angelina Jolie is the perfect example. Brad Pitt was tyrannical to both her and their children, so now she is alone. Not because she is less attractive. Because she wants to be.
Does she want a man? No one knows. Is she lonely sometimes? Most probably, sometimes. She has children. She has built a life. She is not “empowered” by solitude. She is simply refusing to go down the binary choice society hands to all women gracing the planet.
This is not victory. This is resignation. But it is honest. And some women might prefer it that way.
The Hazardous Pattern Worldwide
Selena Gomez left multiple tyrants in her life to settle with a parasite: Benny Blanco. He has nothing compared to her. He needs her more than she needs him, but rest assured, a parasite will gaslight his way out to make his host think they are the one needing him. They will be accommodating. They sure will, as long as it serves them.
Men and Women Are Not Equals
All men are programmed into seeking some form of control. It is one of the oldest and most deeply ingrained expectations of manhood. From an early age, men are taught that they should lead, provide, protect, compete, and master themselves and their environment. Whether through status, strength, wealth, knowledge, or influence, the pursuit of control becomes an unspoken contract they are expected to fulfill.
Most women, by contrast, are programmed to find control attractive rather than to pursue it themselves. Confidence, decisiveness, competence, and emotional steadiness are often perceived as desirable qualities because they signal stability and security. While women are fully capable of seeking and exercising control in their own lives, traditional social conditioning has more often encouraged them to value those traits in others than to build their identity around attaining them.
And that programming is by design.
A refined tactical strategy to ensure men stay at the “top” and women do not. A vicious and calculated zero-sum game to prevent patriarchy from collapsing.
What Women Must Do
The cycle breaks when women accept the binary as tangible current reality.
If you have a son, raise him to be different. Teach him that power is not control. Teach him that love is not ownership. Teach him that a woman is not an asset to manage or a resource to extract from.
This is your responsibility.
Because if you do not, the world will teach him to be a Tyrant or a Parasite.
If you have a daughter, tell her the truth early. Tell her there is no Prince Charming. Do not let her be brainwashed by Disney fairytales. If she might watch those movies, she might do so from a place of awareness. Tell her to build her own power so she does not have to destroy herself and her life with a tyrant. Help her distinguish the two binary romantic “choices” she will face. Raise her to enter those kinds of relationships with her eyes wide open and discuss the best ways she must leave once it turns sour, because it will.
The Responsibility is Ours
The healing of the next generation starts with us seeing clearly. Grieving the betrayal of what we were promised. Accepting what we are presented with.
It starts with us raising sons who do not need to dominate to feel whole. It starts with us raising daughters who know they are whole already.
The binary will not disappear. But if we raise the next generation with their eyes open, they can at least choose with honesty.
That is all we can do. That is everything we must do.